Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Sharing the News

I have been very excited to tell people the news about our pregnancy. With every friend I tell, it feels more real to me. However, I still feel hesitant to broadcast it to all my co-workers, to people at church, and on facebook. Why? After all, it is wonderful news that I am thrilled about. I think the reason I'm not thrilled about telling everyone just yet is that I don't want to be scrutinized. I don't want people inspecting my tummy whenever they see me, waiting to see when I start to really "show." I also don't want my pregnancy to become all that there is to me anymore. Yes, I'm very happy about becoming a mom and I know it will change me forever in ways I can't even imagine yet. But even then I still want to retain my identity as an individual. I fear that once some people know that I'm pregnant, that's all I will be to them--a pregnant woman. I still want to be Ruth to them for a while longer. It's kind of fun to have this little secret in certain contexts of my life right now.

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