Monday, May 08, 2006

Return

Why the long writing absence?

I could blame it on the fact that my stepdad likes to tie up the computer at night by playing online poker.
I could curse Comcast DSL for being really inconsistent as an internet provider.
I could say that I got behind in regular writing and then it was hard to come up with an appropriate "comeback" post.
I could tell you that while I was taking my most current technology class I felt guilty every time I touched a computer to do anything but homework.
I could say that I figured no one would even notice if I stopped writing (but the comments in the previous post negate that excuse).
I could use the excuse that I couldn't think of a subject that wasn't: a) a total cliche, b) a sappy story about my boyfriend, or c) a complete downer.

Mostly, though, it was really hard to find my place in this online pseudo-world since moving back here. The blogging world opened up to me while I was living in Texas. With a few exceptions, the people whose blogs I read and who read my blog live there. I felt like to participate in writing my own blog would mean that I should also probably keep up with reading theirs as well. To most people, doing that would seem like a good way of keeping in touch. I guess it should have been a way of remaining connected in some small way to the people I cared for in such a big way. For me, though, it hurt. It was really hard to get a glimpse of that world, of those people, knowing that I could not be a part of it in the same way and that every day I was missing out on great stuff by not being there. It was especially hard to be reminded of what I was missing out on when I didn't even have a sufficient replacement for it here--no real community, no consistent friend group. Sure, I have friends from when I lived here before, but their lives have moved forward. They have different core groups now and I totally get that. Our needs and roles have changed to a certain degree. I am not complaining or whining about the circumstances, just observing the transition that has occured.

I guess I haven't written because I wouldn't have been able to write without addressing those things and before now it would have been very hard to mention it without sounding negative or pouty. Who needs that? This world is tough enough as it is. I would prefer not to bring more unpleasantness into it if that can be avoided. Now that I've cleared my chest of all that, I supposed it's time to begin another chapter. If anyone is still reading, that is... Do you even want to hear my humble attempts at commentary on this life we're all desperately trying to live?

7 comments:

Drpepper17 said...

i want! I've been waiting, Ruth. I've missed you. I keep checking and was surprised and glad to see this post today.

Becky said...

Oh, that's me, Becky...but you knew that...

APN said...

I am sooooo glad that you're back. Don't worry about apologizing about your silence. It's quite understandable. We're just glad that you're back. We have missed you

Ruth said...

Thanks for still being out there...

Cat said...

I check your blog periodically to see if you have written anything new- I'm so glad to see that you are back! Yeah!

Laura said...

You know I think you are wise and I like reading what you think about things!

karen said...

Add me to the list of those that are glad you're back. Your blogs are always thought provoking. I hope the absence has helped you clear your mind, and get things into perspective. No, I mean back into perspective. Most of the time I think you are right on. Keep on blogging. Karen