As I tell people about my plans for the post-Texas stage in my life, I talk about my move to the Chicagoland area, and then I mention my plan to move to Colorado. Every time I do that the same thing happens. Before their facial expression can question me, and before their minds make the mental leap to assume why I might move there, I quickly explain that I have always wanted to live in Colorado, ever since I was a little girl. I don't want people to assume that the only reason I'm going to live there is because my boyfriend lives there. 'I'm not just moving there for him,' is my veiled response to their non-question.
Why do I care? Why do I feel the need to justify my reason for wanting to live in one of the most breathtaking places in this country? Deep down (or even on the surface) am I worried about guarding my independence so much that I refuse to be known as a person that makes big life choices based on another person's role in my life? I'm not fooling anyone, though. Through my follow-up statement about moving to Colorado, it shows just how much other people control my choices. I desperately want their approval and I work hard to consider every kind of criticism they might bring my way, and immediately address those concerns before they can even be brought up. Twisted.